Year 5 Writing
Good morning, everyone. I wanted to share with you fabulous writing that some of the children in Einstein and Dyson wrote yesterday. Their task was to write the build-up paragraph from planning for a ‘defeat the monster’ story. In the story plan, the monster was an ogre and the main character a witch called Winnie. The children were asked to concentrate on showing character in their paragraph, choosing from ideas we had created together in a ‘character toolkit’ using an online tool called ‘Padlet.’ I’m sure you will agree that their ideas were fantastic. Please enjoy reading some of the writing below. Well done to all of the children who tried really hard on this task, with brilliant results. Mrs. Hateley
As Winnie flew through Windy Woods, the brutish ogre tyrannised and tormented everyone else. She went over to tell her friends her plan.
“I’m going to kill that brutish ogre. Do you want to help?” She said boastfully.
“We don’t have time. Besides, you won’t kill it anyway.” Cackled Janie
“It’s killed almost the entire army of Centaurs!” exclaimed Cynthia
“Suit yourself.” Winnie replied. “I’ll just defeat it myself. You’ll probably be pretty useless anyway.”
Meanwhile, the ogre was outside the house, listening to the plan. It heard every word.
On her spindly broomstick, the valiant Winnie swooped over the Windy Woods, the tips of her crumpled shoes grazing the tops of the highest trees. All of a sudden, Winnie yanked the top end of her broomstick up and hovered in midair. She had found it! She had actually found it! “Hmm” Winnie thought to herself for a little while, examining the ogre as closely as she dared. Then, she zoomed back to her cottage where she had left her friends. “I’m going to scare the ogre! I’m going to scare the ogre!” Winnie taunted. But what Winnie hadn’t realised was that the repulsive ogre had caught a whiff of something tasty, followed the smell out of the woods, over to Winnie’s house and was listening into Winnie’s cunning plan.
Winnie, with her heart set on destroying the ogre, flew through Windy Woods on her oak broomstick. Swerving, dodging and ducking to avoid trees and branches, Winnie was aiming towards the most famous café in Windy Woods, The Fox’s Den. When she got there she ordered a glass of ear smoothie (ears of corn, not ears from people) and she stood on her table intending to make a speech and boast about slaying the ogre. It took a few claps, some large coughs, a little break for her ear smoothie as it had just arrived, some tings on her now-empty glass, another break since a member of staff told her to get off the table and then, after a couple of stamps of her feet, she got everybody’s attention.
”I, Winnie Spell, who lives at 1111 of Windy Wood will slay the ogre terrorising our homes” she boasted
Lots of cheers, a few sniggers and the odd ‘She’ll never do it!’ occurred after this. She then went on to explaining her wise and cunning plan. But if you look out the third window after walking past table 87B where the only splinter on the table pointed then you would spot a giant eye surrounded by a greeny-grey skin
colour – the exact skin colour of an ogre.
Early in the morning, grey clouds spread across the gloomy sky whilst sounds of trees rustling in the wind grew louder as the wind got stronger. I tumbled out of bed, snatched the warmest coat and grasped my favorite broomstick tightly. Confidently, I pointed my broom up towards the grey sky and soared swiftly off towards the secret den where I had arranged the meeting with my friends. As I grew closer, I swept downwards, steadying my broom through the ferocious winds as and managed to land like a professional pilot landing a plane.
‘Hi guys’ I shouted. ‘I’ve got a plan to destroy the evil ogre but I need your help’. My friends all gathered round me, listening as I continued, ‘We can take down the ogre by using our wands, they will be able to take his power so he won’t be able to destroy everything’.
We didn’t see the ogre hiding behind the trees listening to our plan to defeat him.
Winnie awoke from a very disturbed nights sleep. She had spent all night tossing and turning with thoughts of the hideous ogre whirling through her mind. As she peered through the window she could see the sky above windy woods had turned a strange color of grey. The eerie sight sent a shiver down her spine. Quickly grabbing her broomstick she darted out of the front door and sailed up into the air making her way towards the woods in search of her friends. As Winnie approached Windy Woods the chill of the cold gusts whipped her cheeks. Up in the distance she could see her friends. As she neared her friends she began to call out to them. “Listen up everybody….. No more will we be frightened of a silly little ogre!” The friends looked up to see the heroic witch hovering on her broomstick up in the sky above them. “He wants us all to be scared, but not me! I will not only fight him, but I shall defeat him and rid this place of him forever!” As Winnie boasted to her friends about the cunning plan she had hatched, none of them had noticed the terrifying eyes that peered out from the trees in the distance. None of them had realised they were not alone in the woods and somebody was watching from the darkness! Quietly listening.
As I fastened my cloak tighter around my neck the once blue sky turned into a cloak of darkness as the clouds darkened making shadows appear on the ground. Tough blasts of wind rocked me side to side as if I were a baby in a cot as I was flying to meet my friends. However, with my experience of flying I just managed to hang on to my broomstick. Eventually, after what seemed like hours battling against the wind, I staggered in to meet my friends looking slightly dishevelled. They started to discuss what should be done about this terrible ogre who keeps destroying Windy Woods. “This must be stopped,” commented one of them. Everyone agreed, heads nodding wildly. “If only there was someone who was brave enough and could defeat this beast.” replied another. I thought for a moment.
” That’s it!” I explained “I will defeat the monster! Imagine me slaying that terrible ogre. A statue of me on the village green.” Everyone stared at me faces blank.
“You defeating the ogre,” someone spluttered “No, you will never be able to do that.”
“Well no one can stop me from trying.” I said as I started to gather my things. However outside listening in was the ogre himself…